The Marsupial Whore
Whenever somebody says Kangaroo I automatically get the Skippy theme tune playing in my head (yes I’m weird). If you wish to keep this family friendly version of our favourite marsupial in your head, stop reading now.
Firstly Kangaroos get around, with some species extending their range out of Australia. Tree Kangaroos are found in New Guinea and the surrounding islands. The Red Kangaroo (Macropus rufus) is the largest species with a large male reaching around 6’7 tall. It can hope along at around 25mph for 2 kilometres, but can sprint at 45mph if needed. As far as marsupials go Kangaroos are relatively new addition to the family (the oldest fossils being around 15 million years old). The Kangaroo ancestor didn’t hop and was a carnivore.
Like cows the Kangaroo is a ruminant, meaning it ferments its food in multiple stomachs. However unlike cows it doesn’t produce methane. This has got some scientists wondering if a ‘fart-free’ gene can be taken from the Kangaroo and placed in cows to battle climate change.
The female Kangaroo has three vaginas, one for giving birth and too for sex … obviously. The male Kangaroos testicles hang in front of his double ended penis. Making a Kangaroo orgy perhaps the most complicated in the mammalian world =P
The female is constantly pregnant, storing embryos in her spare wombs while her current Joey develops. The Joey feeds from milk glands in the pouch, which support its growth from a very early embryonic age (when it looks like a jelly baby). To get to the pouch, the Joey crawls out of a vagina and up into the pouch – a very dangerous trial which kills many Joeys.
So next time you go to a strip club - ask for the hopping, wind-free 6’7 whore with multiple genitalia =)
